I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
