I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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