My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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