Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
