He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
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Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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