Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
