Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
