road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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