im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The power of my boobs compel you
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
