oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
