Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
