Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
