Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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