yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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