Tell her she can't have a vagina
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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