I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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