Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
