I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
