I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Couch. On fire.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
