you guys were way drunker than both of me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Panties = found
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
