I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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