sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
