last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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