I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
