How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm experimenting with sincerity
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
