just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
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i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
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I'm just crazy horny about you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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