I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
