He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
