she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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