well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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