I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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