Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
