When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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