she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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