whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
