dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
