omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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