8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
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Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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