Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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