Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
