The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
