We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
