My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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