If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
