Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
