This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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