Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
