We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
