dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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