He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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