I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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