Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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