Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
