My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
