they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
