How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
