So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
