i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
