3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
