I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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