i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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