It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
