Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
